![]() I thought, you know, I'm going to do it my own way. I knew that the person in my position is always the one doing the heavy emotional lifting and making the decisions, and so I decided to make one that wasn’t going to be so adversarial. "Everyone was pushing me towards that, but I had seen it play out with my own parents. "I was the so-called 'aggrieved partner' (there was infidelity), but I didn’t want to have an angry divorce," she says. The first obstacle she faced, when approaching her divorce, were myriad preconceptions of what divorce should look like and the opinions of friends and family, all of whom were gunning for a true Fleishman showdown. "It was always our goal to try and change the way divorce happened."Īttempting to divorce differently was the attitude of writer Christel Holst-Sande Cowdrey, whose divorce from her partner of 25 years is the subject matter of her latest book, How to Fire Your Husband in Easy Steps. "That doesn’t bother us at all," says Gates. People assume that couples want the fight, but our numbers show that people don't necessarily." Proof of Woodham’s claim is that, due to higher demand, there are now many more services offering this less combative approach. When Harry and I decided to start The Divorce Surgery it was fairly heretical. "That was the revolutionary starting point for me. We just want to know what's fair, and we want to hear it together’," says Woodham. "Seven years ago, I got approached by a couple who said: ‘We've never been divorced before. ![]() Its genesis, was a real divorcing couple. It essentially encourages participants to view the process as a 'life change' as opposed to a failure or a battle. It's the legal answer to 'consciously uncoupling', designed to de-stigmatise divorce by moving away from the default model, and to de-traumatise divorce by ensuring that the process is endured together. This was the rationale behind family barristers Sam Woodham and Harry Gates who, in 2018, established The Divorce Surgery, the UK’s first ‘one couple, one lawyer’ firm – moving divorce proceedings away from the adversarial and towards teamwork. But do these stories – whether fictional or not – negatively impact the way we see divorce? Namely, does ending a marriage need to be highly compelling and grab-the-popcorn messy? Perhaps not. ![]() Maybe it's a combination of morbid curiosity and schadenfreude that keeps us glued. The Disney+ miniseries, starring Claire Danes and Jesse Eisenberg, is the much-anticipated adaptation of Taffy Brodesser Akner's bestselling book, which dominated the zeitgeist in 2019 with its witty, insightful look at a crumbling New York marriage.ĭivorce has always provided excellent fodder for books, TV and films ( Kramer vs Kramer, The War of the Roses are standouts) and we were all, for better or worse, doggedly following the Depp-Heard trial. The latest prestige TV show to offer up water-cooler moments (sorry The White Lotus, you are now off season) is Fleishman is in Trouble. ![]()
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